Tag Archives: lyrics

Health Update (Holiday Mix) – Captain Novolin

High Quality Video Game Rip, Music, ,

This is a parody of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, with the instrumental set in the style of the Health Update theme. The lyrics were mostly written by Chris De Pew, and sung by me. This parody is a lot less informative than Glassafornia Gurls, and a lot more threatening, as the doctor is very sternly telling the listener to take their diabetes seriously and stop eating so many holiday sweets. The lyrics are listed below.

This rip was featured on Rips of Christmas Past.

You’d better watch out, your sugar is high,
Better throw out that food or you’ll die,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you,

I’m making a list, of things you can eat,
Follow it close, I know when you cheat,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you.

I see what you’ve been eatin’, I know it’s a mistake,
I know when you ain’t drink yo milk, so put down that goddamn cake. Mm.

You’d better watch out, you better not try,
Puttin’ that ice cream onto that pie,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you!

Health Update (Extended Mix) – Captain Novolin

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This is the theme that plays when Captain Novolin is thinking about his doctors’ advice, but it becomes a parody of California Gurls by Katy Perry. The doctor’s voice in the intro was recorded by Chris DePew, and the singing voice is mine. The lyrics reference healthy tips for diabetics, as well as an infamous typo from the game (“check you feet”), and a few inside jokes between Chris and me. If you’d like to sing along, the lyrics are listed below.

This rip was featured on GiIvaSunner’s Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7.

Mm. Goddamn. This. Is. My jam.
Mm. Goddamn. This. Is. My jam.

Mm. Check you feet, and don’t forget to check your glucose.
Before you eat, inject your usual insulin dose.
Put down that cake, you’re diabetic, don’t be reckless. (Goddamn.)
You’ll be fine if you stick, to your recommended breakfast. (Meal plan.)

Have a half a banana, some peanut butter toast, a bowl of cereal,
And a beautiful glassa, some tasty milk. Mm! Mmm-mmm-mmm~

Have a glass of milk, it’s really good for you,
Apple, crackers, afternoon snack. (Mm.)
Check you feet before you put on your shoes.
Mmm-mmm-mm, mm, mmm-mmm-mmm,

Have a glass of milk, it’s really good for you,
Turkey sandwich, go to bed. *smooch*
Test your blood sugar, though, before you do.
Mmm-mmm-mm, mm, mmm-mmm-mmm,

Have a glassa, have a glassa milk,
Have a glassa, have a glassa milk,
Have a glassa

Someone Stole All of the Lyrics

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A year after Storm Blooper Special: Someone Stole All of the Remixes, we released Volume 2, featuring even more renditions of Storm Blooper’s song. In addition to contributing the ice cream truck sound in the intro track, I submitted an arranged version of Someone Stole All of the Ice Cream with my own lyrics. Scroll down to sing along!

Someone stole all the ice cream,
Now I’m quite saddened,
Wish I had bought some,
Sadly I hadn’t.
I need some ice cream,
I’m on a mission,
I need my daily
Nutrition.

Could someone point me in the right direction,
All I want is to purchase that tasty confection
Can’t someone, anyone, help me to acquire,
The creamy deliciousness that I so desire.

Someone…
Stole all…
Of the…
Ice cream…

Someone stole all the ice cream,
Why can’t I find it?
Here is the freezer,
Nothing behind it.
Nothing can beat my,
Frozen obsession,
I’ll just melt into
Depression.

(BRK solo)

Neopolitan, mint chocolate chip,
banana split, topped with cool whip
orange sorbet, vanilla bean,
coffee chip, filled with caffeine

Strawberry swirl, pistachio,
And don’t forget cookie dough,
Please wake me up from this bad dream,
So I can get my ice cream!

Who stole all of the ice cream,
I have a craving
If I don’t get some,
I’ll stop behaving.
I’ll have that ice cream,
Some day, I swear it,
And when I do I
Won’t share it.