Tag Archives: Dr. Glassa

Health Update (Holiday Mix) – Captain Novolin

High Quality Video Game Rip, Music, ,

This is a parody of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, with the instrumental set in the style of the Health Update theme. The lyrics were mostly written by Chris De Pew, and sung by me. This parody is a lot less informative than Glassafornia Gurls, and a lot more threatening, as the doctor is very sternly telling the listener to take their diabetes seriously and stop eating so many holiday sweets. The lyrics are listed below.

This rip was featured on Rips of Christmas Past.

You’d better watch out, your sugar is high,
Better throw out that food or you’ll die,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you,

I’m making a list, of things you can eat,
Follow it close, I know when you cheat,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you.

I see what you’ve been eatin’, I know it’s a mistake,
I know when you ain’t drink yo milk, so put down that goddamn cake. Mm.

You’d better watch out, you better not try,
Puttin’ that ice cream onto that pie,
Glassa Claus be comin’ fo you!

Health Update (Extended Mix) – Captain Novolin

High Quality Video Game Rip, Music, , ,

This is the theme that plays when Captain Novolin is thinking about his doctors’ advice, but it becomes a parody of California Gurls by Katy Perry. The doctor’s voice in the intro was recorded by Chris DePew, and the singing voice is mine. The lyrics reference healthy tips for diabetics, as well as an infamous typo from the game (“check you feet”), and a few inside jokes between Chris and me. If you’d like to sing along, the lyrics are listed below.

This rip was featured on GiIvaSunner’s Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7.

Mm. Goddamn. This. Is. My jam.
Mm. Goddamn. This. Is. My jam.

Mm. Check you feet, and don’t forget to check your glucose.
Before you eat, inject your usual insulin dose.
Put down that cake, you’re diabetic, don’t be reckless. (Goddamn.)
You’ll be fine if you stick, to your recommended breakfast. (Meal plan.)

Have a half a banana, some peanut butter toast, a bowl of cereal,
And a beautiful glassa, some tasty milk. Mm! Mmm-mmm-mmm~

Have a glass of milk, it’s really good for you,
Apple, crackers, afternoon snack. (Mm.)
Check you feet before you put on your shoes.
Mmm-mmm-mm, mm, mmm-mmm-mmm,

Have a glass of milk, it’s really good for you,
Turkey sandwich, go to bed. *smooch*
Test your blood sugar, though, before you do.
Mmm-mmm-mm, mm, mmm-mmm-mmm,

Have a glassa, have a glassa milk,
Have a glassa, have a glassa milk,
Have a glassa

Well of Souls skins

Artwork, Uncategorized, , ,

Well of Souls is a shareware online RPG from 1998. It allowed players to design their own character skins to play through the default world, Evergreen, or even build their own worlds, complete with graphics, music, and scripts. While online, players could send each other their custom skins, meaning any given server could contain a diverse cast of characters. The game is over 20 years old, and people still occasionally play online. Every few years I revisit the game and make a few skins. I’ll post the non-copyrighted ones here whenever I make more.

Click a skin to download it.

  • Crabby, my original crab character.
  • Joksar, my Iksar Monk from EverQuest.
  • Joksar, wearing the Robe of the Lost Circle.
  • Joksar, wearing the Robe of the Whistling Fists.
  • Tailyscale, my friend’s Necromancer Monk from EverQuest.
  • Tailyscale, wearing his default robe.
  • Tailyscale, wearing the Froglok Bonecaster’s Robe.
  • Tailyscale, wearing the Guardian Robe.
  • The disembodied head of Captain Novolin’s dietitian.

Glassa Milk

Animation, Uncategorized,

A timeless tale about a man and some milk. Mm.
The main artwork comes from the Super Nintendo game Captain Novolin. I created the different mouths and hand in Photoshop, and animated them to Chris DePew‘s voice in After Effects.

Captain Novolin is a game about a superhero with type 2 diabetes. Before each stage, this doctor character tells the captain what he is allowed to eat, and this often includes a glass of milk. Chris and I refer to this character as Dr. Glassa.